Fanfic: Droplet 1/? Gå inte in om du inte har sett AS3 klart

[sus@n]

OBS! SPOILER AS3!!

Detta är min Fanfic som jag skriver på http://www.stranger-things.net/forum/index.php? En Fanfic är en påhittad historia som inte utspelar sig i serien. Min är skriven på engelska och är centrerat kring Angel & Cordelia. Mer info står i texten..är glad om ni vill läsa.. fler delar kommer senare.




Title: Droplet 1/?
Author: Swedish_cordy
Email: bjk008245@bjarenet.com
Challenge: “The Replacement” Challenge by rousedower
Category: Romance, crossover and a Little angst
Content: A/C friendship and Romance and later X/C friendship
Summary: Cordelia’s personality splits in two (something like Xander’s in “The Replacement) and her visions gets worse.
Spoilers: Set between “Billy” and “Offspring” also in later parts Buffy Season 6 spoilers.
Disclaimer: All the characters in Angel verse are mine- I wish! All Credit goes to Joss Whedon and David Greenwalt. For Fun and not Profit
Feedback: Pleeeeeeeease, This is my first fanfic ever!
Distribution: Just credit me!
Notes: I am from Sweden so my english isn't that good.. thank God for spelling programs! Please tell me what my grammar misstakes are so that I don't repeat them.




She could feel every inch of her body screaming in pain, not only her head which were trembling after the last vision but also...her feets! Cordelia took one angry look at her uncomfortable shoes and said, “I swear, someday I will have enough money to buy Armani shoes again.” Truly she had never had enough money to buy Armani shoes, but her parents had gladly bought a pair to her.... once, after about three months of complaining and good behaviour, but anyway! She looked around, were was Angel? Cordelia was used to him disappearing but never during one of her visions, he was always first to ask her how she was feeling (like it wasn’t obvious what state she was in) and now she would have done almost anything to feel his cold hands gently caressing her back and his soothing voice calming her down. Cordy looked around once more, she was in the same place she and Angel just had walked too just a few minutes ago, this didn’t make any sense to her. Why would the only good vampire or more accurate her best friends in the whole wide world and in every other worlds just disappear without saying anything? She frowned her for head and were just abort to go back to the hotel were the shy vampire defiantly were hiding “I knew that he would freak out - he’s such a baby” she said in attempt to calming herself down and she really tried to focus all her thoughts about him leaving her right after she had confessed her feelings for him away but it didn’t help. Well, the next vision that hit her certainly didn’t help either. This was even more painful then the one she just had had “Oh” she gasped, “Not...again!”. She fell backwards, tearing her training suit apart and now showing her silky skin much more then she should be doing in this part of town and at this dark hour.
Cordy sighed and held her hand tight waiting for the agony to disappear. When her voice was steady enough she yelled “Angel!” but there was no answer. Heavily she climbed up, and started touching herself to see if she had hurt something in the fall but her pain from the vision was to strong and she knew that it were going to be there awhile, the pain from the visions had been starting to get longer and worse and she hadn’t told that to Angel and even tough she would want to do that she was afraid of him thinking that she didn’t want to help him, that all she ever has been were weak and selfish. She wasn’t that anymore, she had changed, L.A had changed her and he had...

At the same time at Hyperion:

Angel looked at Cordelia, she looked stunning and she was currently talking to Fred, with his super hearing he could hear every tone in Cordy’s warming voice: “Fred, I’m so sorry that I called Wesley a pig, I didn’t think before I talked” Cordy said referring to the day before when Fred had told her about Billy’s touch affecting Wesley really bad. Cordelia gave Fred a comforting hug.
Angel was starring at them, wondering when Cordy’s mood had changed, before he took her home she had a terrible vision and he had really seen the pain on her face, even making her more beautiful but she had just waved at him and said “Angel, I’m okay, don’t worry ‘bout me. You have so much else on your mind” He had wanted to kiss her and she knew that his feelings for her was mutual because she had told him that but she had just walked away without saying anything to him, it was like she was a completely different person and now. Cordy bounding with Fred? The same Cordelia that have told him “Angel, I can’t talk to her, she is, you know.. *Crazy*”. But now he could clearly see the two girls laughing and having fun *together* and the fact that Cordy said that she was sorry about calling Wes a pig was just simply funny! Cordelia is always saying exactly what she thinks and Wes was a pig when he was possessed, Angel thought.
Something was defiantly wrong..


“Angel, I’m driving home” Cordy said, smiling at him with the smile he loved so much, he couldn’t avoid smiling back at her. “Nice dreams” he said and she gave him a little wave and turned around to walk out of the door. “Odd”, Angel thought, something was not right about her but her but he couldn’t put his finger on it.


The Pain was to..painful, not only physical but psychical, she couldn’t believe what she had just seen. This was even more hurting than all the visions combined, and she’s had a lot and it was even more hurting then the time Angel had fired her, Wesley and Gunn and she had drunken *way* to much tequila. “I still can’t believe this” she whispered. But then she realized something. “PTB only show me people in danger, so why would they show me Angel touching and caressing a brunette?” She looked up to the sky “Now you owe me a new outfit!” she said to the Powers That Be, she was going to save him no matter what!

[JRT]

Vill du ha synpunkter? Även om det är lite svårt att säga något när du skrivit så lite...

*Backstory? Hur hände det här? Har Cordelia stött på Toth, eller har du bara rippat just den idén? Om du hittat på det själv bör du ge läsaren en förklaring, har du använt dig av en annan demon från the Tothric clan bör du ge en backstory där - han skulle ju vara den sista av sin sort.

*Början. Linjen mellan att kasta sig rakt in i handlingen på ett engagerande sätt och att förvirra läsaren genom att se till att man inte har en aning om vad som pågår kan vara ganska liten. Men du kanske tänkt klara ut saker senare.

*Jobba på grammatik och stavning. Det kommer dock med tiden när man skriver mycket engelska. Det är dock nog så viktigt att det fungerar även i början när ficen väl är färdigediterad. Om läsarna måste arbeta sig igen många grammatik och stavfel redan under de första sidorna ger de förmodligen upp.

Lycka till. Själv håller jag på och närmar mig upplösningen i en lååång fic jag skriver, den är dock inte publicerad på nätet, ännu i alla fall.

[sus@n]

JRT: Lösningar på allt du skriver kommer att komma, del 2 som jag har börjat på nu kommer lösa någon av de punkterna. Jag kan säga att det inte är riktigt likt "The Replacement" då utmaningen inte var riktigt så utan den har typ samma handling men inte samma anledning, detta kommer lösa sig sen med..

Grammatik och stavning kommer jag få hjälp med sedan, vissa saker har programmet hjälpt mig med men trots mitt MVG i engelska så behöver jag hjälp, vilket jag kommer få.

[JRT]

Så bra! Det blir säkert en intressant historia tillslut.

[sus@n]

Jag kanske bör fortsätta på denna någongång