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Buffy: I've been looking for you.
Faith: I've been standing still for eight months, B. How hard did you look?
Willow: Thanks for coming with. Hunting for a psychopathic superbitch is definitely in the above and beyond category.
Tara: It's okay, really. So, what do we do if we find her?
Willow: Run, flee, maybe skedaddle. We're not here to engage. This is strictly recon. What?
Tara: You said "recon". You're like "Cool Monster Fighter"!
Willow: Well, technically, Faith isn't a monster. And as far as fighting, I'd be lucky to bruise her fist with my face.
Tara: Face-punching, I'm not so good with the whole... (Punching the air)
Willow: Don't worry, we're sure to spot Faith first. She's like this cleavagy slut-bomb walking around "Ooh, check me out, I'm wicked-cool, I'm five-by-five."
Tara: Five-by-five? Five what by five what?
Willow: See, that's the thing. No-one knows.
Spike: Tell you what I'll do then. I'll head out, find this girl, tell her exactly where you are and then watch as she kills you. Can't any one of your damn little Scooby club at least try to remember that I hate you all? Just because I can't do the damage myself doesn't stop me from aiming a loose cannon your way. And here I thought the evening'd be dull.
Faith: Bet I know what you're thinking.
Buffy's Mom: Really.
Faith: You're thinking "You'll never get away with this!" Moi?
Buffy's Mom: Actually I was thinking "My daughter is going to kill you soon."
Buffy, crashing through the window: Hi mom.
Buffy's Mom: Hi honey.
Buffy's Mom: You sure you're okay?
Faith in Buffy's body: Five-by-five.
Faith practicing to be Buffy: Why, yes, I would be Buffy. May I help you? Buffy. You can't do that. It's wrong. You can't do that because it's naughty. Because it's wrong! Because it's wrong. You can't do that. It's wrong. I'll kick your ass. I'm gonna kill you.
Faith as Buffy: The Scooby Gang's all here. Willow, Xander, and... (not recognizing Anya) everybody.
Faith as Buffy: You're a vampire.
Spike: Was. And as soon as I get this chip out of my head, I'll be a vampire again. But until then, I'm just as helpless as a kitten up a tree. So why don't you sod off?
Faith as Buffy: Okay.
Spike: Oh, fine! Throw it in my face! Spike's not a threat anymore. I'll turn my back. He can't hurt me.
Faith as Buffy: Spike? Spike. William the Bloody with a chip in his head. I kind of love this town.
Spike: You know why I really hate you, Summers?
Faith as Buffy: Cause I'm a stuck-up tight-ass with no sense of fun?
Spike: Well, yeah, that covers a lot of it.
Faith as Buffy: Cause I could do anything I want, and instead, I choose to pout and whine and feel the burden of slayerness? I mean, I could be rich, I could be famous, I could have anything. Anyone. Even you, Spike. I could ride you at a gallop until your legs buckled and your eyes rolled up. I've got muscles you've never even dreamed of. I could squeeze you until you popped like warm champagne, and you'd beg me to hurt you just a little bit more.And you know why I don't? Because it's wrong.
Spike: I get this chip out, you and me are gonna have a confrontation.
Faith as Buffy: Count on it.